I have received not one, but two separate comments today on various articles from men who wear lingerie and whose female partners either agreed to it up front, then changed their minds after 16 years, or who refuse to allow their men to wear lingerie at all.
First, here are the comments along with the articles they were posted to, following that, my response to men who find themselves in this situation.
Want To Wear Panties and Dresses But The Wife Says No?:
JimmyC20593 says:
Hope. Thanks for this Hub. My wife and I have been married 15 yrs and together for 22 years. I told her about how I liked to wear panties after 6 months of dating and she embraced it. It lead to us wearing matching panties each day, no thongs or cotton lingerie for us. We had numerous matching night gowns and matching baby-doll nighties w/panties we wore to bed, hosiery of all types, a few bras and slips and camisoles that were a match to hers also and a dress or 2 of my own. She was never worried about me looking better or sexier in my lingerie than she did in hers which is what made it fun. I would come home at the end of my work day and change into a casual tank style dress to lounge in until it was time bed. I even went out to pick up food in the drive in wearing this outfit. I received a few looks but never anything bad.
On our honeymoon we had one suitcase just for all our lingerie for the 2 weeks we were gone. On our honeymoon, I would wear a camisole under a shirt and it be evident that I was wearing lingerie and my VPL was clear as day and I loved it. We got looks but I didn’t care knowing I would never see these people again.
This went on until after we were married and had kids 12 yrs ago. After this she put the brakes on me wearing all but the panties and hosiery. I was not into the make-up or wig except for halloween. I am more of a man who likes wearing lingerie and dresses. This really hurt me and sent me to the closet with my bras, slips, and dresses. I would leave the house, go to a parking lot and put on my slip or what ever the article of lingerie I didn’t put on at home. I still do it to this day and wish my wife would let this back into our relationship. She has found a bra and slip and berated me which sucked. I don’t want to wear my lingerie in front of my children, only behind our bedroom door and under my clothes. Oh Well…. what to do? I keep all my lingerie and dresses well kept and folded and laundered in boxes and keep one in my trunk for easy access. I still go driving around in the evenings wearing my female attire, no make-up or wig, for the thrill of it. I sometime get out of my car and walk around empty strip malls and window shop and love the feeling of the evening breeze blowing my dress and my nylon covered legs and panty covered crotch.
I just wish my wife would let some of the good old matching lingerie wearing fun back into our lives. I so miss sharing this softer side of me with my loving and lovely wife and not have to be alone in my happiness.
Why I Like My Men To Wear Lingerie:
Jnh says:
I am a guy who likes to wear satin/silk panties-lingerie… I have enjoyed this since I was about 16 ( I am now 26 ). I don’t know.. the feel of the satin material on my chest and other areas is incredibly arousing.
However, for the past 4 years I have been in a relationship with a woman who is NOT accepting of this [ in fact she threatened to leave me if I didn't quit doing it ].
At first I tried to ‘quit’ doing it.. but for whatever reason I just ended up feeling depressed and angry towards her. Thus, for the past 2-3 years I have ‘snuck’ doing it behind her back…. But this isn’t a good long-term solution considering you know, she might catch me eventually.
Any ideas / suggestions ? I do love her, but I also love doing this [ and can't seem to give it up.. ]
What Hope thinks…
This is my response to both men, and all others in this situation. If wearing lingerie and feeling feminine is part of who you are, then it is not okay to languish in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support it. This especially goes in the first case in which the lady agreed to it, then changed her mind when the children came along. I’m not sure when and how women and men got it into their heads that once a woman is married and has children she gets to micromanage her husband into misery, but as a woman, I think this is bullshit. Plain and simple, men don’t get to tell women what to wear anymore and women sure as hell shouldn’t be able to tell the men in their lives what to wear either.
So wear the lingerie and the dresses and if she doesn’t like it, she can leave. What women are doing when they forbid the men in their lives to pursue their happiness is controlling them on such a deep level that if it were the other way around, it would be considered a form of domestic abuse.
Seriously. It would be. If these two comments had come from women, not men, people would be outraged. They would say that the men were overbearing fools from a dark age who needed to realize that in the modern world, it’s not acceptable to tell a partner what they can wear.
I also wonder at the man who allows his wife to tell him what he can and cannot wear, and wonder if perhaps, the relationship is taking a turn in which the woman is assuming the dominant role, doesn’t overly enjoy it and wishes that her husband would take a stand. I’m not saying a woman always wants a man to declare that he will wear panties, but most women want a man who will stand up for himself. If you can’t stand up for yourself against her, then how will you help her out in the world?
The desire to wear lingerie isn’t some quirk that men should have to negotiate around, it is part of their right to freedom and happiness. A woman who knowingly denies her husband or partner that chance to express all he is, is not a woman I would personally care to know, let alone devote my life to.
Now both men love their partners and have considerable emotional and no doubt other forms of investment with them. I understand why men choose to just wear women’s clothing behind their wives’ backs, but I honestly believe that if you are in a relationship with a person who will not allow you to be who you are, if you will spend your life hiding your true nature from them so they don’t reject you, then you’re not in a real relationship at all. True love does not stop with a pair of panties.
You might be surprised at the response you get if you ‘man up’ about this sort of thing and tell her you’re going to do it regardless of what she says. Tell her you are her partner, not her child, and she does not dictate to you what you wear. Being firm on this issue and asserting yourself will be quite attractive to the sort of woman who may fear that her husband or boyfriend is going to become effeminate and useless in the relationship. As men, you do have a masculine role to play. Show her that you can both be her strong husband and her man in panties and you may very well find that she feels differently about you in lingerie.
Hope,you are so right about this.I,personally,refuse to give up my panties or anything else I like to wear.At my age,I am done with trying to pretend to be something I’m not.But I wonder if men who wear panties will have the cohones to stand up to their wives.
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Thank you for this site. It helped me to muster the courage to tell my wife about this side of me. I started wearing panties and lingerie in my teens. When my wife and I started to get serious in our relationship, before marriage, I threw away my last pair for fear of the rejection and arguments that I was so certain would ensue. I terribly missed my underwear, and started dropping the most subtle of hints about a year ago. I recently found this site, and outright, but gently told my wife about my wishes. While she doesn’t completely understand, she has been completely supportive. We went out and bought some cheapies to verify size, and the very next day she took me to Victoria’s Secret. It has been five days now, and I am much happier, more comfortable, and my self-esteem has gone way up! I wish that I had told her sooner, as I could have spared myself about 5 years of painful internal conflict. Thank you again, so much for this site!
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I am the Jnh from the original article above and I wanted to drop a response on this. [ kind of an update ]
Within a week or so of reading this page originally and seeing what Hope had responded with I decided to confront my fiancée with my decision that I would no longer hide it from her and that she would have to accept it, or we would be over because I was tired of feeling ashamed/hiding myself/being worried about being caught.
She was not happy at all at first but over the past 3 months she has settled into a more accepting nature. She doesn’t really seem to ‘like it’ but is willing to live with it.
So, thanks for the advice Hope !
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