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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:16 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 11:08 am
Posts: 5
I'm new here. This is my first post, so let me tell you all a little about my situation before I get into what I'm seeking. My husband (we are newly married) told me while we were engaged that he enjoyed pleasuring himself while wearing women's panties. I'm a sexually open woman and I was largely unphased (obviously! I married him lol!). I almost thought he was joking because he's such an alpha male in every other area of life (and had been in the bedroom as well). At any rate, I had questions and he answered all of them. So, during the Q&A he also revealed that he enjoys other lingerie as well - bras, stockings, garters, the whole 9.

So, here's the deal. I know that he is interested in me participating with him in the bedroom. I know that this would make him incredibly happy. I'm very scared that I won't be turned on or, even worse, it will change how I see him. This man is the love of my life and I would never judge him or push him away because of any of this... do you have any advice or guidance for me as to how I can best ease into this? I want to make all his fantasies come true, how do I get over this fear? In theory, it sounds fun, and I've even talked dirty to him about panties and other things while we were being intimate... but actually seeing it... I just don't know how I'll react and I don't want to make it uncomfortable for either of us. ANY ideas or feedback you can give me would be amazing.

Thank you for accepting me into your forum and for any help you can offer!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 12:38 pm 
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Location: Southern Calif.
Quote:
I want to make all his fantasies come true, how do I get over this fear? In theory, it sounds fun, and I've even talked dirty to him about panties and other things while we were being intimate... but actually seeing it... I just don't know how I'll react and I don't want to make it uncomfortable for either of us.


Hi PantyCuriousWife and welcome to this site.

First of all let me say that he is fortunate to have such a loving and caring wife. I must have been a shock when he first revealed his feelings. Remember he is still the same man you fell in love with and married and he trusted you with a very difficult thing to admit to anyone for fear of ridicule or rejection.

I wear all the items you mentioned and more and have been doing so for many years. For me it is partially the texture of the material that I appreciate (try wearing men's cotton briefs and you will notice the difference). Some men, myself included, find the colors and different styles more to their liking. For many of us it is also the fact that we are doing something taboo.

When I told my wife that I liked to wear feminine items we had open discussions about my desires. We agreed to be honest about our both negative and positive feelings. As I progressed from wearing panties to adding a bra she accepted it. Eventually I added sips, skirts,blouses and dresses. Some time after this my wife told me she was having trouble with my dressing as she was seeing me as "Betty." She asked me to stop dressing and I did. About a month later she told me that we had just moved too fast. She said she understood that I was still the man she married and loved and still loved me as much in a bra and panties and she said it would be okay if I started wearing panties and a bra. Some time later she surprised me with a gift of a skirt and blouse. We took it slow and now she has no problem with my dressing and will sometimes surprise me with a gift. Some times when I am in a skirt and blouse she will tell me that I am a wonderful husband and she is so happy with our life together. It took time but we are happier and closer to each other.

You mentioned that he enjoys other lingerie as well - bras, stockings, garters, etc. Does he have a collection of these items? If he does would you be willing to have him show you (but not wearing any of it)his collection? I think it is best to approach this slowly and maybe have him wear only panties and see how you feel. Most importantly you be honest with each other and communicate your thoughts and feelings.

I hope this is helpful for you. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. You can also contact me via PM me if you wish.

I wish you the best in your marriage.
Hugs,
Betty

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 12:47 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2017 7:30 am
Posts: 80
Location: Arizona
Well, first of all, welcome to the site. You'll find a lot of good people here, and there is a lot of good advice and information to be had here. Don't be scared, we don't bite .... much ... or hard ... :p

Maybe for starters, find out what his favorite panties are. What brand does he like? What materials? Lace? Satin? Bikinis, briefs, boy shorts ...? Start off with that, then ask WHY he likes them so much. This will help open up the conversation, and you will be gaining valuable knowledge on one of his turn-ons. Maybe ask him to wear his favorite panties for you one evening when you go out, say to dinner or a movie, or even just a stroll around the mall. Once you get used to him wearing panties - after all, it's just underwear - maybe then ask to see him in one of his bras (if he has one - finding bras that fit the male physique is more challenging than it is for you GG's!). Just take your time, and gently ease into it. Eventually, who knows? He may be all decked out in feminine finery and heels, and you will look at it as perfectly normal. The good thing is, it sounds like you're accepting of this, so you're already ahead of a lot of people who think it's weird, or perverted, and so on.

Remember one very important thing : he's still the same person you married. All of the qualities that originally attracted you to him are still there. He took a big chance on telling you his attraction to lingerie, as many people on here have their own stories about things going south once they told their own SO's. Each of us are like diamonds or precious jewels: what you're seeing now is another facet of that person you married. He's still the same person ... just now a more complete one.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 1:36 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 4:45 pm
Posts: 2299
Location: PA
PantyCuriousWife welcome to HWP. It's nice to have another female member to share her side.
As stated he is still the same person as before your marriage.
He is lucky to have you and you him. Support and communication will serve you both well.
He has opened up his Pandora box for the woman he loves. Yes this is a change from what you believed were his desires.
Being one who WAS married to a gal who would have ridiculed and belittled me had I come forward and expressed my feminine side. This isn't something as small as I bought cookies and they were not on the grocery list. This is your husbands deepest soul and I hope both of you can work things out , with happiness to all.
I wish both of you a long and happy marriage!

Carrie

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I LOVE BEING GIRLIE !


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:45 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 11:08 am
Posts: 5
Thank you for your responses and your kind words. He seems to still be struggling with feeling "weird" about his desires, too, but he opens up a little more every day. He told me the story of how it started for him when he was a pre-teen so I gained some knowledge there. I know that he has some panties and I've seen those (not on him) but I'm not sure about anything else. I would assume he probably does but he has never shown me or offered to. I didn't know if I should ask to see or not, so I think I'll try. I do have the "they're just underwear" attitude! Lol. I actually said that to him when he first told me. The more I see him struggle with this side of himself, the more I realize how difficult it was for him to tell me about it and the more I want to help him embrace it. That's why I came looking for somewhere like this with people who have lived it! So, start off slow and be open about my true feelings is the moral of the story? I've been reading a few threads too and I would really like to share some of the information i found with him... but I'm kind of scared to bring that up too! Is it odd that I want to learn more about this? Do you think he'll be offended if I say "hey, I googled some stuff and I found great places for you to shop". Also, I've considered purchasing panties for him that I've seen and liked in stores, is this something he might be receptive to? I'm not ready to do that with everything else, I wouldn't even know where to begin with sizes, but panties I can handle! Sorry for the million questions, I'm just excited to be able to talk to people who have experience with these things. I can't really call my mom for advice on this one. Lol. Thanks again for being so kind and welcoming!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:36 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 4:45 pm
Posts: 2299
Location: PA
PCW it isn't odd at all that you want more info/insight as to what drives our feminine desires.
Talk to him. Maybe mention HWP to him.
Communicate and continue to trying to remain open minded.
If your reading posts you will see that a supportive SO is something all of us wish for. Some of us have them some don't.

Carrie

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I LOVE BEING GIRLIE !


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:01 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 5:46 am
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Location: Ohio
PantyCuriousWife wrote:
Also, I've considered purchasing panties for him that I've seen and liked in stores, is this something he might be receptive to? I'm not ready to do that with everything else, I wouldn't even know where to begin with sizes, but panties I can handle!!


I LOVE that you want to buy him some panties! You might ask him what styles or fabrics he likes in panties. My wife has bought me a few pairs and I loved that she thought about me and accepted me too.
If you tell him that you bought panties that you thought he would look good in that would be a boost too.
Thank you for coming here and asking questions, it shows how much you really love him!

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Always looking for pink silky panties...always.
Proud HUG member!
Heather


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:42 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 4:26 pm
Posts: 1431
Location: Arizona, USA
PCW, welcome and thank you. Such a great thing for all of us to hear your acceptance. Why does he feel guilty or shy about it? Well he has had to hide it his whole life, made himself feel guilty for it. Chastised by society. Even though no one saw him or caught him, he was made to believe how terribly wrong it is to wear panties and other lingerie. Most of us here have been through this, myself included. Having the acceptance you do and the want to play with him will help turn this shyness. Slowly and positive attitude for both will make it work.
When I found acceptance from my wife, I was so happy that I would not shut up. I talked about panties and lingerie " all the time, it is all I hear". Opps. So I worked on throttling that down and all is good. Just saying, he might become elated. Just kindly bring him back down to earth. LOL.

Have Fun.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 7:41 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 6:58 am
Posts: 5536
First welcome to HWP PantyCuriousWife.
Yes PCW you ask a lot of questions, but that's because this is so new to you and your husband. Telling someone this secret if very stress full. You both need time to learn about it.

Here's a few ideas.

Maybe on the weekend when you have nothing planned and just relaxing you could suggest that he could wear a pair of his panties. You don't have to ask to see him in them, but he could maybe wear a pair under his pants while you sitting in back having a drink, or whatever.

I don't know if you go shopping together in a mall etc. If you do, maybe one time you are out you could just happen to go into the panties section and you just tell him nonchalantly to pick a pair or two for himself too. Don't make a big deal out of it, use that "its just underwear attitude".
This will help see what he likes and make him feel accepted.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 12:17 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 11:08 am
Posts: 5
I am so happy I found this forum. You are all beyond helpful to my confidence about this in general and about his potential to be comfortable with it himself. I'm going to talk to him tonight about some things! I May tell him about this forum at some point as well. I don't want him to take my curiosity as cold feet or judgement, that's the only thing that's holding me back from saying "I FOUND A PLACE YOU CAN BE FREE!" Lol. We'll work up to that! Thank you again so, so much!


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