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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 1:21 am 
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I envy your dilemma! You are struggling with your understanding wife's acceptance of you. Most of us, me included, are struggling with SO's who have difficulty accepting us wearing panties. What you describe is what psychologists would describe as a "projection." You have not come to terms with your own self-acceptance, feel guilt and even shame about your desire to wear women's clothing (enhanced by your former marriage and religious experience) and you "project" these feelings onto your wife as though they are really her hidden judgements of you rather than your own self judgements.

Celebrate her love and acceptance of you and celebrate your freedom to be you. Wear what makes you happy. Life is short. Nancy


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 1:25 am 
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InHiding,

Crissy has the best advice and I would follow it to the heart. Trust your new wife and accept it and most of all - you are blessed to have her.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 7:05 am 
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Continue to find your personal style and try out different garments. Perhaps some of the hesitation is due to your upbringing and the traditional gender roles and somewhere in there a voice is saying.. " A guy doesn't do this and you are losing yourself"

If so, tell that voice that he is full of it. You are your own person and your own man and you get to call the shots.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 8:04 am 
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I think nancybali is correct here.
Quote:
What you describe is what psychologists would describe as a "projection." You have not come to terms with your own self-acceptance, feel guilt and even shame about your desire to wear women's clothing (enhanced by your former marriage and religious experience) and you "project" these feelings onto your wife as though they are really her hidden judgments of you rather than your own self judgments. -- Nancy


And as Robbie says this may come from your upbringing/religion/ex-wife.

I think you need to accept yourself.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 8:34 am 
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Hi and welcome to this great site InHiding.

It may be difficult for you to accept your current wife's acceptance in part due to your previous experience. You have trusted her with a part of you that is difficult to share and she seems to be OK with it. If it were me (and I have also been accepted by my wife) I would have to trust her when she says she is fine with you wearing panties and has asked you to wear other items. Keep us posted on your situation.

Hugs,
Betty

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 9:18 am 
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Such terrific advice here. I'll stick with it and see where it goes. I'm not considering stopping, it's just horribly uncomfortable, even though she's awesome about it. It seems that every time I wear the skirt to bed, we wind up getting frisky and she makes comments about getting me more items.

To the one who asked, (sorry for no quotes; this is tough for me on my phone) yes, she is a little dominant in bed. She is bisexual and has had a few long term relationships with women. She doesn't shave her legs or underarms and enjoys taking a male role on herself from time to time. Still not overly male in her dress, but she feels masculine quite often. It took me a while to get over the leg hair, but if that's how she chooses to identify, I'll support her, just as I know she'll support me through this. We really are a perfect pair, I guess.

Thanks again for all the advice and comments. You all are awesome.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 1:15 pm 
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yes, she is a little dominant in bed. She is bisexual and has had a few long term relationships with women. She doesn't shave her legs or underarms and enjoys taking a male role on herself from time to time. Still not overly male in her dress, but she feels masculine quite often.

It looks like she might at times want to switch roles and enjoy seeing the feminine side of you. You may want to sit down with her and have a frank conversation about what you would like to wear and what she would like you to wear. I hope you accept her answers and build your trust in what she tells you. Aren't husband and wife relationships complicated? :-) But oh!!! so much fun!!!

Hugs,
Betty

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 1:30 pm 
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Don't worry about, just relax and explore your own sexuality along with her. That is one of the best parts of a permanent partner. We get to know them and their likes and dislikes, and they do as well.

I suspect one of your biggest problems is all the years of religious baggage you are carrying. It will take time to get over it, but this too shall pass.

Have fun, enjoy your new found freedoms, but don't let things get too out of hand if you are not comfortable. Small steps in bed and out.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 3:35 pm 
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This topic sounds vey much to me like the other half of the "Help Wanted" topic that showed up recently about a wife that is desiring to help her husband accept her and her desire for him to be free to share with her. I'm not absolutely certain that I got the topic name correct perhaps one of the mods can help. The basic point I'll make is that if these are 2 sides to the same messages I would recommend that you sit down with her and be honest with here about your feelings, you'll find that she is very supportive of you and wants to help. However if I am incorrect and just adding 2 and 2 and getting 5 then it could get very complex. I would recommend that once the topic name has been correctly given to go and read the advise that we have given her and if it does sound like your wife then you can open up and not be afraid. If it doesn't then the best advise is to go slowly as pushing can trip some very bad landmines with very undesirable results.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 3:58 pm 
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Hoborobspanties wrote:
This topic sounds vey much to me like the other half of the "Help Wanted" topic that showed up recently about a wife that is desiring to help her husband accept her and her desire for him to be free to share with her.



Thanks for the heads up. I looked at the topic, (correct title name, btw) and that isn't really our situation. I know that a man in a garter was always one of her fantasies. We have also had a few encounters with me in a skirt and bra with thigh-highs and heels and with her behind me (that's about all I'll say about that. Lol). That was her idea, so I know we're totally into the same stuff. I think that the suggestion that the remnants of being unaccapted and unable to express myself is the major issue.

Once I get over my own fear of looking silly, maybe that'll help. (I'm over 6'3" tall with a big beard and I feel silly in women's clothing, but I love the clothes themselves.)

I'll keep trying to relax.


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