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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 11:48 am 
Site Admin

Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:22 pm
Posts: 266
There's a couple of topics I want to address. They probably won't apply to most of you, but I've seen them pop up recently on the site and I want to make this point very clearly.

1. No Exposure For The Purposes Of Gratification

Don't expose yourself to people for the purposes of your own gratification. The fact that this even needs to be said is a little sad, but it does need to be said. The general population at large do not exist for your sexual pleasure. If you have sexual fantasies of being caught in lingerie by strangers, role play it in the same way people into BDSM roleplay being tied up and whipped. It is never okay to involve a non consensual party in your private sexual fantasies. Never.

2. No Panty Swiping, Swiper!

Buy your own lingerie. Unless you're swapping panties with a lover for consensual fun, the only lingerie you should ever wear is your own. There are several reasons for this:

1. It's a crime. As everyone here knows, good panties don't come cheap.
2. It's a horrible invasion of privacy. A woman can feel incredibly violated by having her lingerie stolen.
3. It's unhygenic.
4. It's just plain creepy and contributes hugely to the stereotype of lingerie wearing men being secretive perverts.

3. No Solicitation.

Do NOT private message other members with sexual content. Doing so is likely to make other people feel uncomfortable and is grounds for removal from the site. He Wears Panties is a community, not a hook up joint.

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:11 pm 
Thank you Hope! I fully support you and your policies. Thanks for creating such a welcoming environment for men who like to wear panties.

Last edited by dianne on Sun Aug 19, 2012 6:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:44 am 

Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2010 5:30 am
Posts: 77
Location: Central CA
Hope's new edicts are sensible and entirely appropriate.

I've never commented on the I-like-to-show-my-waistband-because-I'm-just-a-flirt posts because I feared being censured for defaming the opinions of others, but Hope's statement, "The general population at large do not exist for your sexual pleasure" is one that's easily forgotten when one is caught up in the moment.

And it's very easy to get caught up in the moment.

As for swiping, of course it's stealing. Even the swiper knows that. But Hope's last point--"It's just plain creepy and contributes hugely to the stereotype of lingerie wearing men being secretive perverts--may be even more important in a social sense, at least to those of us who don't wish to be seen in the secretive pervert class.


PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:12 am 

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:12 pm 

Your sensitive and insightful attitude plus your willingness (no, insistence) to establish rules and standards is why I felt so comfortable joining HWP. In fact, this is the only site of this type I have ever joined. I am fortunate that my wife is supportive of my fetish/obsession; we have a rule as well: it's strictly between the two of us, and it never leaves the house.

As I continue to post my own experiences, I look forward to sharing my passion in a safe environment. Thanks for contributing to that atmosphere.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:52 pm 
Couldn't agree more Hope - well said! x

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:55 pm 
Moderator Emeritus
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 27, 2010 6:02 pm
Posts: 761
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Well said Hope.

I must confess to having felt a little uncomfortable about some of the discussions on these topics, but was unsure as to just how far to take the "Nanny Factor" regarding moderating the site.

It would appear that since the removal of the "Anything Goes" segment of the forum, one or two threads have begun to appear that, whilst they are not overtly sexual in their content, do seem to have some degree of a salacious subtext.

Wearing panties (or other lingerie) as a part of one's everyday life, will inevitably lead to situations where on is exposing others to the fact that there are men in this world whose underwear preference tends towards to silky and lacy variety; however, there is a world of difference between stripping down to your knickers in the gym locker room and deliberately seeking out situations where one can force others to confront this fact for the sole purpose of ones own titillation or gratification.

Last year a discussion thread appeared on the subject of asking sales assistants' opinions on the look/fit of lingerie when using the fitting rooms in lingerie shops. The consensus reached by the majority of those who participated in that particular thread was that if the S/A offers to help with fitting, e.g. to ensure the correct sizing of a bra (or corset) - as have been previously discussed) - then that is one thing, but to deliberately place someone else in a potentially embarassing situation in order to get your jollies is not acceptable.

The last point of "It's just plain creepy and contributes hugely to the stereotype of lingerie wearing men being secretive perverts" is particularly pertinent to those of us who wish to have the world at large allow men the same fashion freedom that is currently enjoyed by those born with two X-chromosomes.

There are those who are brave enough to go about the world in an either wholly or partly feminine fashion expose themselves to the potential "slings and arrows" of public ridicule or disdain; these individuals are doing a great service to the rest of our ilk who are seeking acceptance. As was once pointed out to me many years ago, a good reputation takes a lifetime to build, but only a moment to destroy; the world can be a very harsh and unforgiving place.

This forum exists primarily as a source of mutual support and encouragement for lingerie wearing men and a source of information for those who are seeking to learn more about this subject, let's keep it that way and leave the "Dirty Little Secret" stuff for other sites dedicated to such matters.


"Women wear what they want, and so do I." Eddie Izzard (English Comedian).

""Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." (Dr Seuss: Sneetches Are Sneetches)

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:50 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:15 am
Posts: 545
Location: UK
I see that at least one of these threads is still on here, given this update, would it not be a good idea to remove them? I agree with your decisions on this type of thread, they add nothing to the site, maybe even detract.

I Love wearing lingerie

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:12 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:47 pm
Posts: 498
Location: Twin Cities
Thank you! I'm with you on this, nancy

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 8:59 am 

Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:38 pm
Posts: 196

If you find, or are aware of a post/thread that is violation, please PM myself, or one of the other moderators with the details. We are volunteers, and don't necessarily check in every day ( I try to ). As such, we are apt to miss some things.

You can also use the "report this post" tab, the little triangle with the red ! at the top of each post.

Thank you

They laugh at us, because we're different. We laugh at them, because they're all the same.

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