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 Post subject: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:59 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 01, 2016 7:58 am
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Location: Tyne and Wear, United kingdom
First of all sorry that i have not posted in a while and secondly sorry for the long post.
A while ago i came out to my family and close friends and things were great , my mother was a little wierded out by it but she is fine now :)
I came out as i felt trapped in my own home , i was always worried that someone would turn up and id have to run upstairs and hide away.
After telling my family and friends a huge pressure was lifted as i told them that there may be days they turn up and i might be wearing a pair of leggings and a girly top for instance and they were all fine with that.
The problem i have now is my sons friends they are here nearly every weekend for a party in the party shed we built and they pop in to see him through the week too, obviously i cant tell my son that his friends cant come to the house to see him.
They are all so respectful when in our house they all see me and jan as a father and mother figure, when they turn up they give jan a hug and shake my hand and say thankyou for having me here tonight , they clean up after themselves basically a good bunch of lads.
The problem is , as i party with them they see me as one of the lads too.
Which brings me to my dilemma!!!
I feel trapped in my own home again , not knowing when one of them will turn up and catch me wearing something en femme.
So do i come out to them and tell them about myself which will give me back the freedom to wear what i want around the house or do i keep it a secret from them?
I was discussing it with my neighbour last night whilst having a few drinks , he said the ammount of respect they have for you i dont think it would be a problem.
But i always worry for my son as i dont want him to be ridiculed by his friends etc.
I mentioned it to my son and he said anyone that tried to make a joke out of it or me would get a good reprimanding (putting it politely lol).
So as the title says what to do , do i come out or do i hide it?
Amber♡♡♡


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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:54 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:06 am
Posts: 157
Location: The Villages, Fl
Sounds to me Amber that your son has your back, after all your son would probably have to endure more of the ridicule that you would as they hang out together more than you with them. As a matter of fact it might be a great learning process for them to learn that it's different strokes for different folks. Throughout their lives they will be exposed to alot of things and it's up to them as to how they handle everything they encounter.
"Be yourself, ALWAYS"

Alicia


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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:14 am 
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Joined: Mon Dec 23, 2013 9:22 am
Posts: 3913
Location: Virginia USA
Amber, Knowing you I think you have made up your mind and with what your neighbor said about them respecting you I would say to go for it. Maybe not full out the 1st time but you will figure that out. I agree that your son could take more heat then you but since he is ok that is another reason to do it.
Alicia has also made some good points here. Pick your time and do it. Crissy


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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:16 am 
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Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 4:23 pm
Posts: 194
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
Amber,

The only question that comes to mind beyond what you have already done, i.e. discussing the situation with your son, etc., is how old are your son's friends? If they're all over 18, or whatever the legal age of adulthood is in the UK (sorry for the lack of knowledge there), and if your son has your back, then I don't see an issue. If they are truly friends and as respectful as you describe, then it's probably not even going to register with most of them. Just like the cross section of any group of people though, there could be some that aren't going to be readily accepting of that revelation.

I would definitely approach it from the standpoint of, "Hey, just an FYI, don't be surprised if I happen to answer the door one day wearing leggings and a blouse.". In other words, I don't think you gather them all up for a big "reveal".

That's my 2 cents.

FL-LL


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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:34 am 
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Location: Texas
Good advice. I think, as FL-LL stated, that maybe a slow approach would be best. We live in a different time, now, and if they truly respect you, they should be accepting of who you are.

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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 7:42 am 
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Location: Tyne and Wear, United kingdom
Yes sorry i should have mentioned , my son is 19 and his youngest friend is 19 also , upto around 23-24 years old .
So they are all young men ;)
Ill have a talk with my son again and also jan to see what she thinks :)
Thankyou for the advice as always :)
Amber♡♡♡


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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:39 am 
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Location: South East Aiken County SC
Amber, as I have said before be true to yourself. Your son has said he is ok with it so just let them know that you wear leggings and other clothes made to be sold to women. If they give your son any grief he has already said he would deal with it.
BUT I am sure there will not be any problems. If they accept you now and have as much respect as you have said , they will continue to have that respect and maybe even more, because you are being truthful with them. Remember you should not be a prisoner in your own home.
Best wishes!

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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:41 am 
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Does your son and his friends also have friends that express a different gender of lifestyle? How accepting of them are they?

I know my daughter will HATE my nail color, but that's her problem.


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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:40 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 01, 2016 7:58 am
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Location: Tyne and Wear, United kingdom
I am always true to myself and yes one of his friends that comes has a lesbian sister who has just been engaged to be married a couple of weeks ago.
He is a great lad and loves us both, he jokes on that he is gonna marry jan one day lol .
I do think they will be fine with it all so ill have another talk with my son and see what he says .
Amber♡♡♡


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 Post subject: Re: what to do
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:15 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:06 am
Posts: 157
Location: The Villages, Fl
Amber, here is another thought, I think it would be narrow minded of us to assume we are the only CD people around, there might be a very good possibility that your son's friends may be hiding the same secret and even more possible they may not even know whats going on behind their closed doors at home. Much has been said by others on this topic, you've got your families support and friends around and certainly your son has your back. You have all the important people surrounding you. Time to shed the fears and be you and who and what you choose to be.

Alicia


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