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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:38 am 
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Location: Texas
My wife will be going out of town late next month, so I ordered a satin nightgown from Catherines' website since I've been wanting to try sleeping in one. I also ordered some of their satin panties and some camisoles. I did see somewhere that Catherine's satin panties run a touch small, and the rise is very high (much, much higher than I wear, since I am a hipster/bikini sort of guy) so I ordered the next available size up from what I normally wear (a 12, rather than a 10; Catherines' sizes are strange, going 9-10-12-14-15).

When everything was delivered to my local Lane Bryant I went to pick them up (they're pretty used to me picking up orders there, even though I don't shop there). Once I got home I tried on the camis and nightgown and they fit well. However, the panties were too small around my gut, and after a lot of internal debate I decided to take them to Catherines to exchange them for a 14 rather than just squirrel them away and wait for a day where they may fit.

I drove to Catherines with the panties, packing slip/receipt, the shipping bag and my resolve. When I went in there was one customer, a manager and an associate. The customer gave me the hairy eyeball, to which I replied with a smile. The manager looked a touch puzzled, but the associate had been there when I went in a few days before asking if they had the same nightgown in stock (which they didn't), so she asked if she could help me as I approached the register.

I told her I needed to exchange some items, and handed her the bag I had put the items in. She told me that was no problem, go get the items I needed. I looked around and couldn't find them, but when I walked back towards the register she could tell I was a bit lost (I'd never been in the store) and joined me in the lingerie area, directing me towards a table with panties fanned around it.

This is when "the game" began.

"Were they too big or too small?" she asked.

"They were too small."

"What pants size is she?" she asked.

Sigh. Curve ball. "Well..." I hemmed and hawed for a second, then said, "I'm not sure. They weren't off by that much."

"Can you call her to see what pants size she is?"

"Well... I could, but she's at work right now..." I could tell I had a rumpled brow and an expression that said I know this isn't going to plan.

"Ah," she said and nodded. She looked me up and down, then looked back at the sizes available. "I could make a size recommendation if I knew what pants size, or even just measurements..." I'm pretty sure she knew I was shopping for me, which even though it wasn't a big deal to her it ramped up my stress level internally, although I did my best to hold it in.

I said I think size 14 was what was needed, but they only had size 15 in black and white. In fact, she verified that normally they don't get a lot of size 14 in the store. She picked up the size 15 for white and black said, "I think she'll be happiest with this size. We have these others you're exchanging in size 14, would you like to try these?" I said yes and picked them up, and we returned to the desk, where the manager had been watching and began the exchange.

As the manager did the exchange, the computer was giving her some problems, and having the customer give me continued stinkeye was putting me ill at ease while I had flashbacks to the bad shopping experiences I've had before. The manager worked around the issue she was having processing the return, telling me, "this happens all the time, sweetie" and "everything will be straightened out in a second, sweetie." Once she was done, she put the panties back in the bag, told me, "you're ready to roll. Come back any time... here's a coupon for next time. Have a good day, sweetie!"

In retrospect, I am positive they knew they were for me, but I also imagine they get this more often than you'd expect. I shouldn't have "played the game" and just said they were for me to begin with, but that stupid belief that I should be ashamed came back and I'm not sure why!

The size 15 panties are way too big, so I need to take them back! Fortunately, they had some nice satin prints in size 14... hopefully this time we don't play the game again...


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:38 pm 
Lane Bryant is used to men buying lingerie for themselves. It's best to get that part out of the way in the beginning, then it's out of the way. I was in a Lane Bryant store and asked for a certain panty type (stretch cotton brief). The lady looked at me and asked, "what size do you wear?" As soon as that was out of the way, everything about the transaction went smoothly. I asked her how many men buy panties and she pointed to a man just leaving the store and said they get quite a few.

I was in Penny's one time and a lady was looking at me as though to say, "what are you doing in this department?" The sales associate told me not to worry and that it was my turn and I am also a customer. One time the sales lady asked if I wanted a gift receipt. I said, "no, these are for me." I went back two years later and she remembered me. I felt like I was getting preferential treatment.

In one store a lady looked very nosy while I was looking at merchandise. I just continued until I found what I was looking for and made the purchase. Just make a game out of it, keep up your confidence, and have fun. As it turns out, the lady was congratulating me for buying panties in person without sneaking or hiding and said I was "one in a million." I'm glad I made her day, she helped make mine. Just say you like them because they are comfortable.

"Stranger in Paradise"


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:29 pm 
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I am so hopeful I have an experience like this one day!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:24 pm 
I think Lane Bryant has a store wide policy to welcome men customers. I believe it is discussed at sales meetings. A lot of their customers are men and they buy a lot of merchandise. Men usually buy more than they actually need and are therefore good customers. If you look or act nervous then you will be obvious. Never worry about what the sales associates think or feel, and don't worry about other customers either. The women who work there like talking with men and are very helpful. You should try to make them feel less awkward about assisting you. Enjoy it.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:38 pm 
pantyante wrote:
I think Lane Bryant has a store wide policy to welcome men customers. I believe it is discussed at sales meetings. A lot of their customers are men and they buy a lot of merchandise. Men usually buy more than they actually need and are therefore good customers. If you look or act nervous then you will be obvious. Never worry about what the sales associates think or feel, and don't worry about other customers either. The women who work there like talking with men and are very helpful. You should try to make them feel less awkward about assisting you. Enjoy it.


Thanks for posting this! I am always extremely nervous and it takes an enormous screwing up of courage to do something that, on the flip side, doesn't seem that hard! I wish I wasn't such a wuss in this regard, so maybe reading about all the happy endings (keep posting, y'all!) will eventually get me to stop borrowing trouble.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:57 pm 
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Great story, NylonComfort. If you don't mind, I might make this thread sticky so it doesn't slip down into the forum and get lost. It is important that stores supporting men who wear lingerie get recognition and also that men know where they can go to get good service too.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:19 am 
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Location: Texas
Hope wrote:
Great story, NylonComfort. If you don't mind, I might make this thread sticky so it doesn't slip down into the forum and get lost. It is important that stores supporting men who wear lingerie get recognition and also that men know where they can go to get good service too.


No problem at all!


pantyante wrote:
The lady looked at me and asked, "what size do you wear?" As soon as that was out of the way, everything about the transaction went smoothly.


I wish they would have just done that. Somehow, it feels mildly inappropriate for me to express it directly. However, I realize (in hindsight) that the associate was giving me an out to tell her they were for me when she said she could make recommendations based on measurements.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:01 pm 
I decided about twelve years ago that I would no longer hide my desire to wear lingerie. I discovered that a small specialist shop, in my town centre, one I had walked past many times and never plucked up the courage to enter, was closing down; so in I went! Many items were greatly reduced and I bought several items, stockings in particular from the elderly ladies who were serving. On my next visit the shop was half empty and work was being carried out but as the door was open I looked inside. The young lady behind the counter, the new owner (six months pregnant) welcomed me in and asked if I was looking for something in particular as her new stock hadn't arrived and the old stuff was being stored away in the attic. I said that I was looking for basques, teddies and camis with matching panties. She asked me for 'my partner's size' and swallowing hard I said "they are for me". She didn't even blink and said "oh, in that case if you come back tomorrow I'll look out some of the old stock, you can have it cheap". I asked if this was 'normal' and she said she had lots of TV friends at her other shop and I was very welcome to try things on when her new changing room was completed. I bought lots of nice things but sadly the shop only lasted a year or two and I had moved away in any case, but I think the acceptance of my preferred underwear was perfectly acceptable to her age group (early thirty I would guess). I have also found older ladies to be accepting, particularly independant shop owners rather than chain store assistants. That's my experience anyway and in any case, what have we got to lose if the sales girl does disapprove? Just shop elsewhere in future - wearing panties, and camis, slips, girdles, corsets, bras and stockings isn't a crime!!!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:38 pm 
I have found sales associates at Penny's, Lane Bryant, Kohl's, and Target to be very helpful and understanding. I am sure they are not surprised when they meet male customers, and they talk about their customer experiences to one another. Over several years I have met over 30 sales associates in at least ten stores who have been very helpful. I have never had a negative reaction when buying lingerie from a female. I have never bought any from a male sales person and only encountered one as a cashier. I think a lot has to do with your approach as casual as possible, and their experience and sales training. One lady told me she prefers men customers and some women are unfriendly toward them, but never men.

You can do it.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:29 pm 
TRY THIS: When shopping for panties or any other lingerie item, look it up on the Internet on the store web site where you intend to shop. Make a print of the item and include the color and size. If you have a coupon, bring it with you as well. Bring it to the sales associate so she may locate it as soon as possible. If there are any questions such as who it is for, what are the measurements, etc., go ahead and tell her you like them because they are more comfortable than male skivvies. Include a compliment that this is your favorite store because of the selection, the courteous sales staff, how helpful they have been, etc. It puts you in the judging position and not her. People like to be proud of where they work.


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