Category Archives: panty philosophy

Lingerie Thought-Crime

So you’re a man who likes women’s lingerie. Maybe you like it because of the way it feels against your skin. Maybe you like it because it makes you feel feminine. There’s certainly nothing wrong with a man liking lingerie, but many men who do are all too aware that not every woman in the world shares that sentiment. Which brings up the question, does your partner have a ‘right’ to know about your lingerie?

If you have a supportive partner who accepts your desire to wear lingerie on occasion, and perhaps even supports it, then that is wonderful. But what if your partner is not so accepting? Should you DTMFA, (“Dump the Motherfucker Already”) as Dan Savage might say? Or should you hide away your lingerie desires and pursue them in secret? If you choose the latter option, does your partner have the right to freak out upon discovering your lingerie related activities, and should you feel guilty about it?

I’ve always said that a man should at least run his desire to wear lingerie by his partner, because it’s a part of his life and one’s partner should always be as much a part of one’s life as possible. But what if you do share and the response is highly negative? What do you do then? Well, the blanket answer for this sort of thing is being told to find another, more supportive partner. If you catch the issue early on in the relationship, it’s probably the best idea.

But life being what it is, it’s more than possible that you could be quite a long way into a relationship before you tell your partner. You could be married, with a house and kids and then what? Are you going to forego your vows and the inherent promise you made to your children when you created them to be there for something as relatively superficial as liking to wear lingerie? Probably not.

A great many men do end up in a position where their partner does not approve of or support their lingerie wearing but the relationship is otherwise sound. In those instances, I have to say that I see no problem with a man pursuing his lingerie interests in his own time, and if the wife / significant other finds out, then so be it. The fact of the matter is a lingerie fetish, especially one that was developed in the early years of one’s life is not going to just go away because someone else doesn’t like it. Sublimating lingerie desires only makes them stronger and often leads to a deep self loathing that can manifest in other self destructive behaviors. If one internalizes the messages one gets from an un-supportive partner, one can begin to view one’s desires for lingerie as a form of thought-crime, and no good can possibly come from that.

One is therefore left with a choice of two evils, to deny oneself a perfectly harmless predilection that brings pleasure, or to give into the thoroughly bigoted desires of a partner who puts their own desire for ‘normality’ above the mental and emotional health and plain happiness of the person they love. I say wear the lingerie if you want to and don’t let someone else’s thoroughly irrational prejudice taint your view of yourself.

Last Week I Made Friends With My Anima | Part Two

This is the second post in what will be a series from our friend and moderator Gr8legs. It’s his personal tale of becoming acquainted and comfortable with his feminine side, panty wearing and cross-dressing. It’s a lovely deep read and my sincere thanks go to Gr8legs for sharing this with us all.

Meeting “Ava”

Recently I have found myself able to be a little more open about wearing female attire. Since I began reading Hope’s articles around 7 months ago, my level of acceptance of my love of lingerie has grown, in the same way that the sense of shame & guilt I’ve carried about it has diminished. This has also been helped greatly by the fact that new lady in my life not only accepts this, but actually enjoys it and finds it to be quite a turn-on.

I love pantyhose and tights. I have been wearing them either under my trousers when I’m out and about, or when I’m at home alone for more than a year now. It has now reached the stage where I almost no longer feel “normal” if I am not wearing hosiery in some form. I have taken to wearing tights with shorts when going home from the gym. I wear black opaque tights. They feel more comfortable than wearing long trousers over my legs after a workout, as I find that, the material of the trousers can cling to my legs in a manner that is most uncomfortable. Tights, on the other hand, cover my legs and keep the chill off them, but without clinging and restricting movement. The first time I did this I was a bit apprehensive. I put them on in the men’s changing room in front of and whilst talking to a couple of guys who had been participants in my boxing circuit class. Neither of them batted an eyelid or even gave them a second glance as I rolled up the legs and rolled them up my legs, pulled my shorts over the top of them & stuck my feet in my shoes. Continue reading

Last Week I Made Friends With My Anima | Finding The Woman Within The Man

This is the first post in what will be a series from our friend and moderator Gr8legs. It’s his personal tale of becoming acquainted and comfortable with his feminine side, panty wearing and cross-dressing. It’s a lovely deep read and my sincere thanks go to Gr8legs for sharing this with us all.

If you’d like to make a guest post on He Wears Panties, feel free to email me: hope-alexander@hotmail.com

Last week, I made friends with my Anima. She’s been with me all of my life and right throughout my life she’s tried to let me know she’s there, but in a some ways I’ve felt more than a little ashamed and embarrassed about her. You see, the society in which we live is very much defined by stereotypes that are invented and promoted by the media, stereotypes that reinforce the way we see and perceive both other people and, more importantly, ourselves. From an early age, around the time we start school, we are told that little boys are made of “rats and snails and puppy dogs’ tails”, whereas little girls are made of “sugar and spice and all things nice”. Furthermore, big boys don’t cry.

Over the years I have had straight and gay friends of both genders. Indeed, most of my closest and enduring friendships have been with females and, unlike many of my male friends, I have always felt perfectly comfortable in otherwise exclusively female company. As a young boy I would play sports, race my bicycle with my friends, climb trees and engage in typically masculine “adventurous” activities. However, although I had no desire to play at “tea parties” or with dolls (other than Action Man soldier dolls), I would be quite happy to be in the company of and engage in other, non gender-specific games and activities, such as board games with girls.

In The Beginning

My first crossdressing memories were of wearing one of my Mum’s slips at around the age of 5. My Dad had died when I was very young and, although my Mum remarried, for a couple of years there were just the three of us (Mum, sister & I) in the house. At first Mum didn’t seem to mind, but then I suppose she got worried because it was becoming a regular thing. One day, she took the slip off me and threw it into the open fire, saying that it was dangerous for me to walk around the house dressed like that as a spark could set fire to the slip & I’d be burned.
Continue reading

Finding Yourself | The Importance of an Inner Journey

This is philosophical, but I think it applies heavily to the readership here, who spend many hours exploring inner feminine worlds. Here’s why I think that is not only to be commended, but why it is so important to a life well lived.

As far as my spiritual and scientific educations take me, the mass of jelly between our ears is responsible for who we are. Our personality, our identity, our hopes, our dreams, our fantasies are all stored in that one small space.

Read more…