So you have hundreds of panties neatly tucked away in dresser drawers specially designated for the holding of your extensive lingerie collection. Perhaps you think you own one of every kind of panty in the world. Perhaps you think that you’ve caught them all and become a lingerie master. Perhaps you have. Or perhaps not.
These panties glow under black lights.
I shouldn’t really have to say more than that because they glow under black lights. As every episode of CSI ever has taught us, only exciting and important things glow under black lights. These are exotic panties indeed, made so not only by their luminescent qualities. Even by the light of day they’re fairly hard to ignore. Vanity Fair and Olga have a surprise coming when this hot little number joins them in the panty drawer!
Neon Yellow Leopard Print Low Rise Scrunch Butt Nylon Panties
Baby it’s cold outside – assuming you’re in the northern hemisphere, which many of us aren’t, but try to suppress your antipodean rage for a few minutes whilst I weave this tale of winter underwear. There aren’t many panties that have a claim to warmth, unless you count yak hair panties or perhaps woolen panties, either of which come with some obvious drawbacks to the wearing party. These panties from Warner’s are not only made from a fairly snug and cozy nylon elastane blend (okay, these won’t work in a blizzard, but if you wear them under snow pants, they will have a delightful slide.) They also come in a ‘warm taupe’ – which refers to the beigeness of the beige and not the heat they generate. Before you discount all this twaddle, allow me to draw your attention to the fact that these have already been reviewed and hailed as excellent by a man who wears panties. I give you his review:
I have been exclusively wearing 100% cotton Hanes Men’s No-Fly Sport Briefs for years, and I found the Warner’s without a stitch brief to be a great alternative. Because cotton doesn’t have great moisture wicking properties cotton briefs can get really uncomfortable during adventure sports (biking, hiking, kayaking, etc.) and gym workouts, I am always looking for a good non-cotton sport brief. Unfortunately, there are very few alternatives for us regular “guys” in the “real world”, so I stepped out of “normal” bounds and I have been experimenting with nylon blend women’s briefs.
What I have found, with the exception of the better moisture wicking fabric used by Warner’s and the garment tags, when you hold the Warner’s women’s brief up next to the Hanes men’s brief, they are identical! For all of you out there who think it is weird for a guy to wear these briefs, think again. When it comes down to form, function, and comfort, a real man looks beyond labels.
Warner’s Without a Stitch Brief
These panties are plus sized, so you know you’ll be able to fit them, all over lace and mesh, so they look both sexy and cute at the same time – and they’re crotchless, so there is more room for activities. These panties are basically a triple win topped with rose floral accents. Oh, and there’s something just a little bit sissy about them too – if you don’t like the connotations that the tern ‘sissy’ has, think of it as ‘classic’. It’s pretty much the same thing as far as I can tell. In fact, sissy fashions are so close to period clothing that there’s really no difference between a sissy cross dresser and someone with a passion for historical re-enactments.
Frou Frou Crotchless Panty Plus
And now for something different, and shiny and wet. Not actually wet, but looking like it might be wet. These panties are perfect for lingerie magpies and those who like their undergarments to shimmer in low candle light. The ‘Scrunchy Butt’ (proper noun) is designed to make these panties fit perfectly and give your cheeks definition. These types of panties usually turn out to be surprisingly comfortable in spite of the fact that they look like they come pre-wedgied. Give these a glimmering change, you likely won’t regret it. Plus, with Christmas on the horizon, these are pretty good seasonal panties for anyone who wants to play ‘underpants or tree ornament.’ (Everyone.)
Mix & Match Sexy Shiny Silver Low Rise Scrunch Butt Panties
American Apparel panties tend to run small, but these panties rise so high I couldn’t not feature them. Look how high they go, with their mesh grid, semi-urban grit, semi-flashdance, semi-1984 appeal. (That’s 1984 the year, not the dystopian novel.) These are panties for people who want panties everywhere. Panties that rise right up to the ribs. People who look at a pair of panties and wonder why there are boundaries stopping the panties from spreading all over the body. These are panties of boundless possibility. And a lot of pretty color options. Check them out.
American Apparel Stretch Floral Lace High-Waist Brief
Mesh panties, that is to say, panties that are made entirely of mesh, tend to have a reputation for being somewhat – trashy, shall we say. But mesh can be classy, and more importantly, it can be comfortable. (Get the wrong pair of mesh panties and it’s uncannily like wearing a grater against your privates.) These mesh girl bikinis from Natori are made with comfort and style in mind. They come in a very wide range of colors and patterns, and though I’d forgive you for thinking otherwise, they really are mostly mesh, as can be seen when one views them in the plain ‘Mongolian Blue’ option.
Natori Bliss Mesh Girl Brief
These 93% lace hipster panties from lingerie legends Wacoal are both gorgeous and sophisticated. They come in the seasonal red, as pictured above, as well as a more restrained black, beige and a what I am calling Empress Blue. (Red is one of the rarest lingerie colors to come by, so if you’re looking for something just a little unique, swoop on these whilst they are available for the swooping.) I love the detailing on the lace, which is also quite unique. These aren’t a pair of panties you see every day, they’re something just a little bit special. The rear view demonstrates not only a pleasingly smooth expanse of satiny fabric, but more imporantly, the Wacoal dedication to comfort. These panties will look stunning, and won’t leave a lace pattern embroidered in your derriere when you take them off.
View the full range of Wacoal Captivation Hipster Panties
Looking for a pair of super comfortable lace thong panties that won’t show under your every day attire? Look no further than the Hanky Panky Low Rise Lace Thong. Hanky Panky have a Wall Street backed comfort rating so whether you’re sitting in a Wall Street office, or in precariously erected tent outside, these are the panties that will keep you comfortable. Yep, if you’re short selling stock, or just stocking up on canned goods, these panties will never leave you short on comfort or style. They come in over fifty color combinations. Yeah, you read that right. Over FIFTY different color combinations. So there’s definitely a pair that will suit your taste. Or, if you’re looking to invest heavy in panty stocks, then you can buy all fifty options. Gotta catch ’em all.
Hanky Panky Signature Lace Low Rise Thong Panties
These panties are pretty, lacy and come in a lime green variant, which makes them excellent in a variety of ways, including ‘Blue Shimmer”Grape Jelly’ and ‘Peaceful Poppy’. These panties are all lace, so you can embrace the lacyness. The hi-cut style is pretty low cut, so it won’t cover too much, or too little for that matter. These panties are in the lingerie Goldilocks zone.
Jockey Lace Hi Cut Panties
Right now I’m all about panties with fusion names. (As demonstrated by the recent Cheekini post.) If Jekyll/Hyde or Frankenstein’s Monster had a panty line, I’d be all over it. Instead of either of those options, we have something much prettier to feast our eyes upon. It’s the G-Kini from Felina. Bikini in the front, g-string in the back, G-Kini panties provide as superior level of comfort and stability, plus a smoother ride and shorter stopping distances.
Check out the full range of Felina G-Kini Panties, including Hot Pink options!
Cheekini panties are clearly a play on the ‘bikini’. The general idea of the cheekini is that the rear of the panty is cut quite high across the buttock, leaving a fair amount of cheek showing whilst also reducing panty lines in the process. These are a viable alternative to thong lovers who are growing tired of feeling as if they have a never ending wedgie.
The cheekini panties pictured today are by Betsey Johnson, a firm that isn’t afraid to give their panties some serious names. ‘Hottie Dottie Powderpuff’ is the moniker for the sweet pair shown at the top of this article, whereas the pair demonstrating the rear cut below have been named ‘Layla Leopard Skinny Dip’.
Check out the full range of Betsey Johnson Mesh Cheekinis!
These panties were apparently designed to evoke the idea of a daisy chain. Somewhat ironically, they do not come in yellow, leading me to believe that the designers of Elle Macpherson lingerie are locked away far from the corrupting influence of unchecked nature. These, therefore, are panties designed by people imagining the essence of a daisy chain.
Though these show little in the way of the floral theme they are named for, the jolly ‘lipstick red’ of these panties makes them a perfect pair of Christmas panties – and the perfect little lingerie gift for oneself this season. If the red is a little too much, these also come in ‘Jet’ (black) and ‘Vintage Cream’ (beige). In each case, contrasting lace and a smooth fit make these panties look very sophisticated, whilst retaining a little olde worlde feminine charm.
View the full range of Elle Macpherson Daisy Chain Bikini panties