He Wears Panties » gender issues

“I am a transvestite” There, I’ve said it! | The Final Installment In The ‘Meeting My Anima’ Series

Hope — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:41:15 +0000

This is the final part of the series from GR8legs about meeting his anima. This has been a really interesting and insightful series and I’ll be posting it as a complete page soon. My thanks to Gr8legs for his considerable contribution to the site and to readers’ understandings of what it is for one man to wear women’s clothing. If you’d like to make a guest post on He Wears Panties, feel free to email me hope-alexander@hotmail.com.

Crossing the Rubicon

Following on from the elation that I‘d felt after trying the waist cincher for size before buying, I once again found myself in the same shopping centre on the Friday. As I wandered around, I found myself being drawn into one particular shop. I had never had the intention, nor did I feel I would ever move into the world of also wearing female outer garments, but as I was browsing in the store I found myself seeking out a skirt and top, as well as a belt to complete the outfit.

That evening my girlfriend came to my house and I dressed in the outfit to show her my new purchases. She loved the outfit and I talked with her about “Ava”. As we were standing outside on the patio, I walked across to put my empty beer bottle in the rubbish bin. I strode across in a relaxed, confident manner and when I returned to stand beside my girlfriend, she put her arms around my neck, gave me a big kiss and with a bigger smile told me that she’d never seen me so relaxed & confident in all the time she’s known me. She then said that she likes Ava and that she’s glad I’ve finally made friends with her.

“I am a transvestite” There, I’ve said it!

I have spent all my adult life living with the fear of shame and embarrassment that would overwhelm me if my secret were to be discovered and so hid my secret away. I’ve never thought of myself as a transvestite/ crossdresser. I have always thought of myself as a guy with a fetish for wearing lingerie and then last year, during the last few months leading up to my separation from my wife of nearly 14 years, it started to become more than just a sex thing; I began wearing female lingerie under my male clothes as a part of my normal life. I then began to think of myself as a lingerie-wearing-man, but still not as a “crossdresser”.

Then last week happened. During that week I had joked with myself that I was having some fun with and making friends with my anima and it was almost as though by acknowledging her in this manner, I allowed her to emerge, culminating in last Friday’s purchase of female outer clothing. I began to read more and, after reading Dr Watson’s Gender Disorientation Scales in an article on Wikipedia I was left with the inescapable conclusion that I am a transvestite. According to the criteria set down in Dr Watson’s gender disorientation and indecision scales, as applied to biological males, I fall somewhere between Group One (low intensity) and Group Two (medium intensity). According to Kinsey’s sexual orientation scale, I fall into category 0 – exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual experience.

Where to from here?

I know that the answers lie within me and I need the guidance of my avatar to uncover them. I have been experimenting with make-up and now know that I don’t want to mimic females in such a manner as to want to be able to pass as one. Today I wore my high heeled boots all day. I did notice a couple of odd looks from one or two people, but most either didn’t notice or didn’t care. The only comment I received came from a (male) lawyer with whom I had met to discuss some business. As I was leaving the meeting he asked me “How do you walk in those high heels?” I smiled as I replied, “With good posture and balance”.

After leaving a second meeting in the afternoon with another (female) lawyer, who had made no comment regarding my choice of footwear, I found myself walking through the city with a relaxed and confident air and a “Who cares?” attitude.

I’m pleased I made friends with Ava, my anima. As I stated above, she’s been with me all my life and will be until the day I die. Since I’ve made friends with her I feel a lot happier and more peaceful than I can remember having felt for years. As I wrote above, I have always felt relaxed and comfortable in exclusively female company and for most of my adult life, many of my closest friends have been female. Now I have a new female friend, Ava and she makes me relaxed and comfortable; she makes me feel good about myself.

Why Men Wearing Dresses Is Good For Women

Hope — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 02:21:08 +0000

Because much of the objection to men wearing women’s clothing comes from women, I like to address the feminist issues associated with men wearing women’s clothing from time to time. It might surprise you that there are any feminist issues associated with men wearing dresses and lingerie. After all, isn’t it simply a men’s issue?

Why Men Must Wear Dresses

Hope — Wed, 05 May 2010 10:22:51 +0000

This is a two part post about the state of feminine fashion when it comes to men, and the reasons behind it. If you were looking for a reason to wear a dress, you’ll find it here.

What do you think when you hear the words, feminine fashion? Do you imagine skimpy skirts and tube tops? Do you imagine pretty lacy undergarments? Do you imagine long floral dresses? Do you imagine short shorts and a tank top? Perhaps you imagine jodhpurs and a riding jacket, or maybe a sharp two piece business suit?

Read… A Man In A Dress | All Fashion Is Feminine

Men must wear dresses. In fact, I would like to posit the theory that until all men are able to walk about in dresses without fear of mockery, losing their jobs or putting off potential mates, we will not have achieved freedom and equality in our societies.

Read… Why Men Must Wear Dresses

Godzilla’s Panties

Hope — Mon, 03 May 2010 23:14:41 +0000

When thinking about lingerie, it is important to think outside the box. You see, many of us get caught up in notions handed to us at birth, notions like the fact that the sky is blue, grass is green, girls wear panties and boys are left with whatever scraps of cotton are left over.

How To Find Freedom In Women’s Clothes

Hope — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 23:22:06 +0000

If you happen to be a guy who at some point developed a fascination with women’s clothing, you’ve probably spent a good deal of your life since that time feeling guilty and disliking yourself. I don’t say that because I’m some guru with a deep insight human nature, but because I’m a human with eyes, and any human with eyes can see that if there’s anything that modern living sets us up for, its feeling guilty and giving us reasons for disliking ourselves.

When The Man Becomes The Other Woman

Hope — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 21:40:04 +0000

It is surely no secret by now that many women aren’t exactly on board with the men in their lives wearing women’s clothing. We can point out at great length how much of a double standard this is (I wonder how many women have been wearing jeans whilst they complained that the man in their lives wanted to wear a skirt or lingerie) but the type of woman who is put off by a man who wears women’s clothing doesn’t care about logic of that nature.

Does Wearing Women’s Clothing Make You A Cross Dresser?

Hope — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 02:27:03 +0000

Let me cut to the chase on this one real quick. No. Especially not if you’re a woman, but also even if you’re a man. At least, to my mind at least, the act of simply wearing clothing designed for women does not make a man a cross dresser. Some men wear skirts and lingerie and other items of women’s clothing for no other reason than the fact that they like them. They are not trying to be feminine, they are not trying to pass as women, they are simply men going about their day in skirts or lingerie or whatever pleases them.

No Man In Lingerie Is An Island

Hope — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:29:36 +0000

Since I have begun exploring the themes of gender and dress, I’ve occasionally received feedback from readers who are disappointed at the breadth of the issues these articles cover. ‘I thought this was just for men who liked lingerie’ is the most common of their refrains.

Men who fall into this category get their panties in a knot every time issues like wearing women’s outerwear or gender neutral people arise.

Neither Male nor Female | The Neutral Gender Has Arrived

Hope — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 03:53:39 +0000

Are you male or female? You no longer have to be either, at least in New South Wales Australia, where local government has taken a great leap forward in allowing the option of no gender to be assigned on birth certificates. This allows people born without clear gender, those who ally themselves with neither the masculine or feminine to live as they wish to, neutrally.

Men Wearing Beards And Dresses

Hope — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 01:24:15 +0000

One of the hardest things for men who like feminine clothing is the fact that they often have manly traits that make the feminine clothing seem, well, unfeminine. In particular, an abundance of body hair often gets in the way, cluttering up the place and creating a clash of the worlds that some men find problematic.

The best solution, in my limited opinion, is to simply embrace the contrast. There’s nothing like a lovely handlebar mustache above a sweet pink nylon nightgown.