This is a topic I’ve written about before, but I think it deserves revisiting because it rears its head for so many men at so many different stages of their lives. We all know that wearing panties isn’t as simple for men as it is for women. Women buy and wear panties and nobody cares. Men, on the other hand, are struck down one day with an urge to wear panties and from that point on board the roller-coaster of lingerie guilt until such time as they accept themselves fully, and surround themselves with supportive partners. (Or, you know, one supportive partner will probably do, let’s not be greedy here.)
Why is it such a big deal for men who like wearing lingerie to accept their fetish?
At some point after you discover you like lingerie, you’re going to realize that it’s not ‘normal’ and that wearing lingerie is therefore viewed as being a negative thing to do. As humans, we tend to internalize the values of the societies we live in, even the silly shallow ones. This makes us vulnerable to feeling like bad people if we don’t want the same things everyone around us wants.
Validation is incredibly important to everyone. Even those of us who don’t care what other people think are occasionally struck down with crises of lack of validation. Validation is how we hold our relationships, societies and communities together. Stepping outside the boundaries set by one’s community is no small matter, no matter who you are. It is harder (but not impossible) to be validated as a man who wears lingerie, and for men, who tend to pride themselves on being proud of themselves, lack of validation, or even worse, outright rejection from romantic partners and other important people in their lives can be a harsh blow to the psyche and the ego and all those other little psychological bits sloshing about in their minds.
It is therefore, no wonder that plenty of men who like wearing lingerie sometimes wish they didn’t. Life would be more simple if they developed sports fetishes.
Of course, if wearing panties were all bad, it would be easy to stop. But for every negative experience (internal experiences in which you berate yourself count too), there is the joy of pushing the boundaries, of doing something you shouldn’t be doing. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of binging and purging lingerie as you swing alternately from vowing that you’ll never wear panties again to walking on cloud nine as you sneak about your day in a new pair of panties.
It is possible to push past that place, to come to accept yourself for who you are, a man who loves lingerie. The thrill of the taboo will abate with acceptance, but so too will the horrid self loathing that casts a pall over your enjoyment of your lingerie and indeed, over your life.
Can you curse yourself of panty wearing? Maybe, but more often than not, the desire to do so seems to indicate that sooner or later, you’ll be back in the lingerie saddle