Can You Cure Yourself Of Panty Wearing?

This is a topic I’ve written about before, but I think it deserves revisiting because it rears its head for so many men at so many different stages of their lives. We all know that wearing panties isn’t as simple for men as it is for women. Women buy and wear panties and nobody cares. Men, on the other hand, are struck down one day with an urge to wear panties and from that point on board the roller-coaster of lingerie guilt until such time as they accept themselves fully, and surround themselves with supportive partners. (Or, you know, one supportive partner will probably do, let’s not be greedy here.)

Why is it such a big deal for men who like wearing lingerie to accept their fetish?

At some point after you discover you like lingerie, you’re going to realize that it’s not ‘normal’ and that wearing lingerie is therefore viewed as being a negative thing to do.  As humans, we tend to internalize the values of the societies we live in, even the silly shallow ones. This makes us vulnerable to feeling like bad people if we don’t want the same things everyone around us wants.

Validation is incredibly important to everyone. Even those of us who don’t care what other people think are occasionally struck down with crises of lack of validation. Validation is how we hold our relationships, societies and communities together.  Stepping outside the boundaries set by one’s community is no small matter, no matter who you are. It is harder (but not impossible) to be validated as a man who wears lingerie, and for men, who tend to pride themselves on being proud of themselves, lack of validation, or even worse, outright rejection from romantic partners and other important people in their lives can be a harsh blow to the psyche and the ego and all those other little psychological bits sloshing about in their minds.

It is therefore, no wonder that plenty of men who like wearing lingerie sometimes wish they didn’t. Life would be more simple if they developed sports fetishes.

Of course, if wearing panties were all bad, it would be easy to stop. But for every negative experience (internal experiences in which you berate yourself count too), there is the joy of pushing the boundaries, of doing something you shouldn’t be doing.  It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of binging and purging lingerie as you swing alternately from vowing that you’ll never wear panties again to walking on cloud nine as you sneak about your day in a new pair of panties.

It is possible to push past that place, to come to accept yourself for who you are, a man who loves lingerie. The thrill of the taboo will abate with acceptance, but so too will the horrid self loathing that casts a pall over your enjoyment of your lingerie and indeed, over your life.

Can you curse yourself of panty wearing? Maybe, but more often than not, the desire to do so seems to indicate that sooner or later, you’ll be back in the lingerie saddle

10 thoughts on “Can You Cure Yourself Of Panty Wearing?

  1. Don

    Yeah I for one wish I didn’t have the panty fetish. Though I enjoy wearing panties and have a drawer full it is just a curse I wish I didn’t have. Do you understand that?

  2. Hope Post author

    It is understandable, but in many ways, it’s sort of like wishing one wasn’t cursed with blue eyes. These things are a part of us and it’s a rare person who makes it through life without developing one quirk or another that they fear will land them in the loony bin.

  3. Don

    The curse of blue eyes might be easier to handle but even though I find being a panty man a curse I do enjoy waering and buying panties. Thank you for your insights and thank you for your web site. It is a place to view other points of view and to view your comments too.

  4. smokymtn7

    I guess I don’t get it. Why would I regret my pleasure in wearing panties, skirts, hose and bras? My wife is accepting, and that makes it all totally good. I love slipping into my feminine side and feeling all the softness that my lingerie has to offer. Why would I feel bad about that? By the way, I am married, straight and 59 years of age. Sorry, not some sort of freak here – just a normal guy who is honest about who he is.

  5. the local

    No i think you a hooked for life. You may stop for a while but sooner or later you will be back again. And you will go further this time trust me i have been there.

  6. shibby

    It’s a struggle, having the desire to wear panties and being a guy. It started out as wanting to understanding women more, but it grew into a comfortable feeling when I wore them–confident, even. At times I accept it and others, I cringe.

  7. Hope Post author

    I agree that it is great to read the opinions of other men, and it is also excellent that there are such a diverse range of opinions here. On this piece alone they run the gamut from being totally fine with lingerie to wishing that it wasn’t an issue in their lives, and that really reflects, I think, the reality of the situation and will be really helpful to future visitors, especially men who are struggling with the issue.

  8. Larry

    I wear daily Wife tolerates but wishes I didnt

    Society has accepted women wearing mens clothing as “sexy” but has not accepted men wearing womens clothing

    My only hope is that years ago men wearing earrings was considered weird or gay….so maybe….

  9. Yendor

    I agree with Hope’s assessment and really don’t consider panty wearing a curse or quirk but rather a desire. Once you wear panties you’re hooked for life because you really can’t overcome the sensual feel of the fabric or the snug feeling you get from a well fitting satin or nylon panty.

    In western society I think women are still considered to be inferior to men and any man that wants to emulate anything considered feminine will be critized as going against society’s definition of what is normal male or female behavior. However, women can emulate men in how they dress without anyone thinking much about it but if a man started wearing something considered feminine then they would expose themselves to all kinds of ridicule and be considered a threat to what everyone considers acceptable behavior.

    In Japan for example cross dressing is generally accepted. Major department stores sell unisex underwear which are really panties and bras that both sexes can wear. Men’s fashions include suits in pastels colors and skirted garments. Salons where both sexes can go for facials and manicures do a brisk business. It’s not unusual for you to see men wearing make up and carrying handbags. These individuals are referred to as metro males or members of the skirted tribe. They do draw attention but are generally accepted into their society.

    So until our society becomes more liberated about our attitudes of what is acceptable male or female attire then men that indulge in wearing panties will always feel that what they are doing is wrong and go through life with a guilt feeling.

  10. Hope Post author

    I think you have a good point about women being considered somehow inherently inferior to men and that being the root of the ‘weirdness’ when men wear women’s clothing. I think society at large can’t understand why a man would want to be feminine when being masculine is so much ‘better’. I wrote an article along those lines not so long ago.

    I don’t know if this is a product of conditioning or some sort of human genetic programming, but either way, it is certainly unequal.

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