This, believe it or not, is Jude Law. Yes. That Jude Law.
In spite of the YAY PANTIES! Yippy skippy attitude I’ve been partially (okay, largely) responsible for around these parts, I acknowledge and admit that many men who yearn to wear panties (and women’s clothing in general) often feel bad about the desire for a long time. From their adolescence they curse it, feeling upset and ashamed, wondering why they have been struck down with this terrible affliction. To be a man who wants to be feminine. How can that be? How awful!
Fortunately, a great many men who wear women’s clothing work through these feelings and emerge from the cocoon of self doubt and confusion as beautiful feminine butterflies. They flit about in their female finery, proud of themselves and understanding something deeper about life.
What have these men learned? They have learned that being a man is not a two dimensional experience. They have learned that you don’t have to conform to the expectations of the dominant culture in order to be a man. They have learned that clinging to a cliché is no way to live. They have, in some way, pierced the veil of the reality which is shoveled down our throats from the moment we open our eyes and they have understood, on a personal level, that there is much more to being a person than what meets the eye.
All those lessons are invaluable in life. Though being blessed with the gift of being a man who loves cross dressing might seem like a curse at first, there are many lessons to be learned from being a cross dresser that one could otherwise go through life and never learn at all.
We learn nothing from toeing the line. We learn nothing from following every arbitrary and senseless rule. We learn nothing from being perfect and we certainly do not learn anything from being ‘normal.’
People who cling to the normal and the everyday are people who are scared. People who seek out the refuge of the norm are like minnows frantically schooling, trying to stay away from the dangerous predators which frequent the edges of the group. They will turn on those who appear different, or worse, appear weak, because to them all life is survival. They graft though their days, constantly in a battle to not just be accepted, but to be the center of acceptance. The idea that someone might not like them is crushing. The idea that they are not thought of in a good light is terrifying. Men who have accepted their feminine sides and accepted the fact that they want to wear women’s clothes are often cured of these terrors. They have accepted that not everyone will agree with them, that not everyone will like them, and they have come to be at peace with that.
The deeper truth is that though we are indeed social animals, and a great deal of pleasure and solace can be found in our social interactions, we are also animals of spirit and intelligence. That spirit and intelligence is not something that relies on the acceptance of wider society. It is something that is fed by the wellspring within.
There are some things in this world that are not merely matters of pure animal survival. Great artists, creators and scientists have all commonly lived on the edges of society because that is where real living, real discovery and real creation takes place.
If you’re a man with a compulsion to cross dress, in many ways you find yourself driven to these outer lands whether you like it or not. Some men cower away from the abyss they suppose might be there, others embrace the new surroundings fully.
I will not pretend that it is easy being a cross dressing man. There are many challenges, inner and outer to face. Being a cross dressing man often requires more fortitude and strength than being a ‘normal’ man. There are very few ‘normal’ men who would risk the sort of isolation and harassment that sometimes comes with being a cross dresser. But if you are a man who is called to wear lingerie, then you are a man who is called to discover a deeper meaning of masculinity and of humanity. Don’t shy away from your desires, for it is your desires which have the power to truly set you free.
